Lighten up

One of the things money can’t buy is what it used to.

You’re never too old to learn and never too young to
know it all.

Government regulation is like ketchup. You either
get none or too much.

Ninety percent of our friction comes from the wrong
tone of voice.

A budget mathematically proves you can’t live on
what you’re making.

Compliments, like perfume, should be pleasing, not

The person responsible for most of my troubles is me.

A lesson on the subject of values. Watching a boy help
your daughter into an expensive new sports car parked
behind the four year old minivan you’re still making
payments on.

Wife: “You should be ashamed of yourself, coming
home half drunk.”
Husband: “Sorry honey. I was too tired to finish the job.”

“What’s your dog’s name little boy?”
“We call him Ben Hur.”
“Funny name for a dog.”
“He was just Ben till he had pups.”

Tired father with loosened tie after daughter’s wedding:
“It was like giving a million dollar violin to a chimpanzee.”

Planning is like taking careful aim at a target. It
accomplishes nothing unless you pull the trigger.

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