The magic of listening

My opinion of you is based on my reaction to what I
see and hear. I have had the experience of seeing a
person across a crowded room and not liking them
even though I have never seen or met them before.
How dumb is that?

They looked or acted like somebody I didn’t like. It
could even have been some actor in a movie. When
that happens the odds are about ninety nine to one
that he or she feels exactly the same about me. When
introduced we are starting out on the wrong foot and
neither of us know why.

This is the point where interested listening comes in
handy. Most people are potential friends and are
drawn toward those who are interested in what they
say and do. If both are interested listeners we can get
into one of those conversations that we hate to end.

Real listening is more than just hearing words. It is
understanding the message. It includes paying
attention to attitude, concerns and emotions. It is
waiting patiently while the other talks and interacting
enough to get it right. It is seeing the picture through
their eyes and appreciating their feelings.

A lecture is tiresome when not in a classroom. When
two people are accepting and seeking answers rather
than just giving them they are having a good time. This
is a good starting point for a lasting friendship.

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Ken